Real life vs. Online friends

Ahh... the internet vs. reality. An interesting subject to approach from many angles. A great discussion was brought up on this subject on our forums:

I was talking to one of my friends today about this topic and thought it would be interesting to have you all weigh in. In today's world of social networks (like Facebook and Myspace), message boards (like MH), and other internet outlets are the relationships you build online the same or different than the ones you build in "real" life? Do you categorize the two separately? Do you value them differently? Is there ever a time that an "online friend" can become an IRL friend? What does it take to get there?

So many questions!!

Finally, what does it mean to be a friend? Is meeting a person face to face at first change their ranking of importance?

Is it interesting, or strange perhaps, to think that we can now form relationships more solid and lasting through the computer than we can in real life? I know a person who I have chatted with, both online and on the phone, for years now. Between us, we have 3 moves, 5 kids, and several web sites. But, if push came to shove, either of us could count on the other for anything.

So, how do we evaluate this? Is it appropriate to create lasting relationships from online interactions? At one point, I would probably have said no. But, as I evaluated the discussion thread on this topic, I truly thought about it. Person a would be one of the first people I went to with a problem. I say one of, as I do have a real-life best friend-- 1000 miles away. So perhaps our relationship is now electronic as well. Mostly phone calls and online discussions-- but does that take away from what we have? And a new situation- someone I have become close with in a month- a month! Does that seem long or short? In real life, that seems like a quick time to become close with someone, and the few times this has happened for me has led to the great friendships in my life. I think the online version is leading to the same thing. When you feel so comfortable with a person, even if hesitant at first, I doubt the channel of communication really matters.

So, I end with this. True friends are hard to come by; it is rare we find a person we can truly trust, and truly feel comfortable just being ourselves with. When this happens, it should be embraced, whether in person, or in the crazy world of online.



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Busy day..

Today was a busy one.. I could barely keep up with my kiddos today, let alone anything else. So, today's entry will be brief.

First, thank goodness for my family. I love my husband, I love my son, and I love my daughter. (go ahead and amend the statement to reflect yours).

Next, thank goodness for bedtime. There is nothing that gives me sanity like having a quiet house.

Finally, thank goodness for a place like mothershideaway.com/forums. A shameless plug? Sure. But after a day like today, I'm thankful to have a place to talk to the only people who understand why I'm awake after finally getting everyone else in bed- other moms.


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Mommy time

Moms are busy people. We spend our days working, whether its in or out of the home, taking care of our families, cooking dinners, cleaning up messes, wiping noses, kissing boo-boos.. whew. You get the idea. But, what do mommies do when they have the coveted "mommy time"?

This was a question posed on our forum. As I read the responses, including my own, a pattern caught my attention. Here, a few example answers:

Get on here or watch tv. That's pathetic! I have a coupon for a mani/pedi that Dh gave me for Christmas that I haven't used yet. Must do that ASAP!

I have one too!!! It expires in October so I need to go soon. I am thinking of bringing (my daughter) with me and having a mommy/daughter day.

OOO Yes You Must!! I have been wanting to do that too. Now that Sandle Season is back.

Notice a pattern?? These are just a few, but notice how the mommies, when asked what they do for mommy time, answer with what they "should" or "want to" do. Sure, answers included tv and some internet time, but is that even really an escape for mommy time? Instead of really doing something 100% for them, moms instead tend to do something semi-relaxing, like watching television, while still being completely accessible to her family.

Not so much mommy time, is it?

So, as we take our 5 minutes to be (insert name here) today, lets add on a few more one day this week, and do something where mommy can't be disturbed.


What do you think about this? Visit our forum and tell us! See our topic of the day, plus a ton of others! http://mothershideaway.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=63

Not talking about your kids..

Can you do it?

This topic recently came up on our forum, and it really sets the mind rolling. Our esteemed administrator has granted me permission to reprint her post:

Can you do it? I'm not saying not bringing up your child at all in conversation, but can you talk about things beyond your child? DH and I were talking about this last night and I was venting to him about how going out with the moms with my playgroup always ends up with us all talking about our kids. That's it. No one really talks about us...as people beyond our roles as mom and wife.

How many does this ring true for? Isn't it the truth? Do we not all, as mothers, sometimes find ourselves identifying ourselves as "such's mom" or "such's wife"? What happened to hello, my name is Ashley? Yes, I think we all find ourselves pondering this at some point in our mommyhood. The question is, to what degree, and to what end?

I personally think we are all going to do this to an extent. Period. I mean, when I have a few minutes away from my kids, I don't want to be talking about them constantly. However, I think it is obligatory to spend the first few minutes of a gathering exchanging child updates, because really, if you don't, then people wonder what kind of mother are you. Of course, after this obligatory exchange of information that no one is really interested in, your children should be in the back of your mind only. You are always going to be a mother above and beyond everything; but, you need to be a person too.

So, in light of this thought, let's all take 5 minutes to be (insert name here) today. And then, we can go back to being mom.


What do you think about this? Visit our forum and tell us! See our topic of the day, plus a ton of others!
http://mothershideaway.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=132

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